The Difference Between “White Boys” & Black Men

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Update (March 09, 7:50 PM): This is a massive re-edit. I decided to cut the blog entry shorter. Please refer to the post in question to is what got me upset and why I decided to respond to this issue.

So, I visited Alphanista, a blog that’s target towards women (but they welcome men to post comments). I love commenting on their from time-to-time because I have a good friendship with the Maryann Reid. Recently, she posted a guest blog post by Nikki Harris (soon to be Nikki Harris-Abramson in 6 months or less if she can help herself). This post is titled “Why I Date White And I’m Alrrright.”

Now, I’m not going to knock her for dating nor marrying said white, Jewish boy (her words, not mine). What I am going to knock is her post, basically bashing the black man (even thought she stated she loves black men). So, I have to take a stance on the issue. Usually, I have to stand up to a white woman about black women. Now, I gotta stand up to a black woman about her twisted views about some black men. At first, I was going to do it as a comment, but instead, I will straighten this out on my own terms.

If you read her blog post, there’s a few things wrong with this list.

  1. It’s too stereotypical.
  2. It’s redundant at times.
  3. It’s a personal list.

Now, keep in mind, she is fully aware of a few facts: She’s aware of she used the term “white boy’. Also, she made us aware that she’s in the present moment. (I AM NOT LOOKING AT MY WHITE BOY AND WISHING HE WAS BLACK.) And at the end of all this, she still love black men. (Note: In her post, she says “Black Men” & “White Boys”, never calling a “Black Man” a “Black Boy”. I’m not sure if she’s aware of that.)

Alright, I think I’m ready to make…

The Counter Point

Now, I will admit. If I met her at my current point in life, she and I would not even be on the same level… money wise. I make enough to get by and that’s that. I’m still paying for my mistakes that I’m man enough to admit and take responsibility for. Mentally, and not to blow my own horn but, I know I can take her on a debate and win her over. Otherwise, I will easily lose.

But this is not about me.

So, let’s talk about the typical black man. First off, if the following statement: “you are a product of your environment” is true, then let’s talk about our humble beginnings.

Environment

White people will more than likely live in a more supporting environment than black people. They may not grow up in a stable home, but they will attend the best schools, or have a better chance of attending the best schools. They will also be in better neighborhoods. They will less than likely have to deal with authority figures. Black people, on the other hand, can only do so much. The majority of of black people are in rough, non-supporting environments. They are pretty much the child left behind in the “no child left behind” act. Hell, the military will more likely be around black hoods than white ones.

Culture

White people are more likely to resolve their issues more maturely and business-like minded than black people. Why? Because it’s part of their culture. They don’t have to worry about certain elements such as racism, or even something as simple as having a “unique name”. They will be a shoo-in at jobs. Black people may have to change their names, or modify their behavior just to fit in. We must fit into their “cooperate culture”, which means we must change our identity and who we are. We are the ONLY people that has to do this. Even East Indians gets more respect before an American Black Male.

Credit

White people learned about money from a young age. They grow up in an environment that will encourage them to “think & grown rich”. They will have bank accounts at a young age. They will learn the value of a dollar and hard work. Sure, some of them will be spoiled, especially when their parents spoil them. But that type of environment (and we are not talking about just the home, but the neighborhoods, the schools, etc.) Their people = support system. Chances are black people will more than likely be raised in a broken home, where parents have to struggle to save money. They may live in ghettos. They have to work twice as hard to get to where they have to be. Along with other issues, do you really think balancing a checkbook would be something we get taught in schools, more or less neighborhoods? I would love to support a non-profit just to teach about wealth in our communities because this is an important subject and reverse the “materialistic trend”.

Spirit

In the end, we are all human beings that want to grow. So, I cannot subject this to one topic to one particular race. We all want to be different. However, depending on the above three values, we can only grow so much. Some black men don’t want to go beyond their hood. The black men I hang with are different. We all want to travel (to other countries, mind you), own big companies with our own money, and have a stable life. We all want the old-fashion American dream with family values. However, not everyone may see things the way we see things. However…

… all of us have an environment that white people may never relate to. In order for us to grow, my partners and I meet up and call each other up… to cultivate a different type of environment.

We even have a white male in our group and guess what… he would not even fit in your description of “white boys”. (come to think of it, he would be offended if you call him “white boy”) I know a white girl who would not even call herself “white” and think white people are cancerous. She prefers black males, hands down.

But getting back to the “spirit” argument, we all want to grow and love and live. That’s why we create that environment between us. We even say the word “love” to one another, something that is common in the African culture, but would call up “ayo, pause” moments over here. We are brothers and we want to be better.

Conclusion

So, here’s my closing augment, Nikki.

I respect your decision to marry your “white boy” & I’m sorry that you had a bad experience with black men. However, I don’t see why you have to justify yourself and convince other black women with your (and I say this with every once of respect, Nikki) wackass, one sided response. I further don’t understand why you have to degrade your man by calling him a boy.

But wait I do…

… you’re a woman who don’t give a flying flip what everyone else thinks…

… from the way I see it, the only reason Maryann Reid would even entertain your post is because you take pleasure in your happiness by finding a white footstool and using his color as an excuse. Maryann is known for thought-provoking commentary, but she didn’t wrote that post. It’s not in her spirit.

But hey, if all you want is a footstool, any “boy” would do. Matter of fact…

… maybe that’s the reason you can’t get a black man to marry you. You want a footstool, and to quote Reginald Noble…. nah, I’ll let him say it…

Before I go: Caution

Maryann Reid is going to post about this one and she will be leaving hints that I done this. I. JUST. KNOW. IT. So, please, be respectful to my opinions. I know I didn’t hit every point and I also know I avoid the main point, which is why she isn’t attracting a capable black man into her life. Well, if you read the post real carefully, you’ll notice I said “black people”, which means chances are, her environment allows her to attract men who can sense she’s not someone on their level.

Also, I apologize for the long read. I tried cutting this down without losing any meaning, but this is the best I can do.

Feel free to leave comments. I’ll get back to as many as I can.

Now, to leave you with some related entertainment:

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  • E

    Your counterpoint sucks. You confused corporate with cooperate. I hope all black women start finding smart, family-minded men to pair off with and stop showing this undying racial loyalty to wack-ass black men who don't deserve it. All people have to change themselves to fit into a corporate environment, you think white folks are born wearing suits and speaking standard English? I assure you as an English teacher, they're not. And this is not just about “unique” names. Some black folks give their kids dumb-sounding ghetto names and that's that. African folks don't seem to have trouble finding jobs with African names. Emeka from Nigeria will do find, Lakwanda I might look sideways at. And my name is Ebony.

  • http://www.thoughtremixer.com Nukirk Digi.tal

    Thanks for your comment.

    But no, I did not confuse “corporate” with “cooperate”. I lived on an island, in Arizona, visited different parts of the country. This is what I merely observed in my day-to-day life as well as read about.

    Also, as far as the “grooming” process, I'm merely stating that they may have a better environment to study, to learn. I'm not saying that they grew up in business suits, walking the walk, talking the talk. I'm pretty sure we had a very good example with the last President.

    It's impossible to cover every aspect, especially when I'm not a social expert, so all-in-all, this is a rather strange argument. However, let's get back to the “unique names” for a second…

    … I have a long name. None of the names are “black”, it's just really long to pronounce. I would even just cut down my first and middle name and just spell out my last. I was advise… by both white and black professionals to cut my name down to TWO because “it sounded black”.

    Now, you might be confused that I could be defending a race. The article is merely to defend the black male that when through all this, rise up and yet, still overlooked because of his skin color. I'm not against multiracial dating. If a woman did it because she love the man, then she don't even need to defend her place and write a blog post about it.

    Anyone that have to explain in 600 word or less to the world why they are marrying a white man over a black one needs to question wither or not the real reason why they are getting married.

  • http://www.thoughtremixer.com Nukirk Digi.tal

    Thanks for your comment.

    But no, I did not confuse “corporate” with “cooperate”. I lived on an island, in Arizona, visited different parts of the country. This is what I merely observed in my day-to-day life as well as read about.

    Also, as far as the “grooming” process, I'm merely stating that they may have a better environment to study, to learn. I'm not saying that they grew up in business suits, walking the walk, talking the talk. I'm pretty sure we had a very good example with the last President.

    It's impossible to cover every aspect, especially when I'm not a social expert, so all-in-all, this is a rather strange argument. However, let's get back to the “unique names” for a second…

    … I have a long name. None of the names are “black”, it's just really long to pronounce. I would even just cut down my first and middle name and just spell out my last. I was advise… by both white and black professionals to cut my name down to TWO because “it sounded black”.

    Now, you might be confused that I could be defending a race. The article is merely to defend the black male that when through all this, rise up and yet, still overlooked because of his skin color. I'm not against multiracial dating. If a woman did it because she love the man, then she don't even need to defend her place and write a blog post about it.

    Anyone that have to explain in 600 word or less to the world why they are marrying a white man over a black one needs to question wither or not the real reason why they are getting married.